smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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