he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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