Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
