We're facebook friends in real life
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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