Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
