i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
