Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
God, I missed his penis.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
