I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
