i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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