I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
