You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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