i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
