she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
