On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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