oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
