Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
