I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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