You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So vagazzling was a success
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
