yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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