White coat. Heels.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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