Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
