Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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