we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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