So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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