I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
