I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
