..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
