All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
