At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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