my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
