How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
