I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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