I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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