absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
