I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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