If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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