This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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