WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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