Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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