her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
