I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
