i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
