you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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