By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
