Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
