if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
