Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
