Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
