like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
