Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
