Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
